How to Hide Out in Office Supply Stores

Urban Camouflage

You know, in case the po-po is chasing you down and all you have is a shit ton of paper products or boxes, this is how you evade the man.

What R2D2 Was Really Saying All That Time

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Apparently R2 is a dirty little bastard, who bitches a lot. He thought he was getting away with it all this time, hidden behind those beeps and blpppts, but we’ve got that dirty droid now.

Hooter Heaters will Make the Ta-Tas Toasty

Hooter Heaters

Concept Bra Dryer (we all know the truth: it makes boobs hotter) from BraDryer.com.

The ShamWow Dude is on a Mission Against Scientology

Buy ShamWows! Now!

Because the headphone-wearing freaky little dude who sells them is using the monies to fuck up the scientologists.

The Worst Glory Hole in the World

The Worst Glory Hole in the World — powered by Cracked.com

Redman Said What?

“When I bust, titties come out.”

Redman, Y.O.U

“This is the kind of thing people say that don’t see titties all that often.”

Chris Macho, No Room Service Just Snacks and Shit

Mountain Dew is About to Get Sugar’d Up! SWEET!

Pepsi to Use Real Sugar in “Mountain Dew Throwback” in April

That’s right. Real sugar in Mountain Dew, April 20-June 13. Time to stockpile the shit out of that sweet, sweet Dew nectar.

Boner Party Enrolls in Foreign Exchange

I want to enroll my boner in a foreign exchange program to India so it can come back from overseas all spiritual and continuously talk about the night it and Freida Pinto smoked hash and made love on the back of an elephant.

The ones with the tiny ears. Indian Elephants. Zoobooks™.

bonerparty.tumblr.com - possibly NSFW, but typically hot chicks…and its funny

Your Ass May Have to Start Toughing it Out…Literally

American Taste for Soft Toilet Roll Worse “Than Driving Hummers”

Extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply toilet roll made from virgin forest causes more damage than gas-guzzlers, fast food or McMansions, say campaigners. That means you need to start using leaves and masturbating with tree bark, Gaia rapers.

Watching Movies Backwards is Awesome

Watching Movies Backwards is Awesome

If you watch the movie “Jaws” backwards, it’s a movie about a shark that keeps throwing up people until they have to open a beach. If you watch “Rambo” backwards, it’s Sylvester Stallone healing people with his magical bullet vacuum.