Your Ass May Have to Start Toughing it Out…Literally

American Taste for Soft Toilet Roll Worse “Than Driving Hummers”

Extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply toilet roll made from virgin forest causes more damage than gas-guzzlers, fast food or McMansions, say campaigners. That means you need to start using leaves and masturbating with tree bark, Gaia rapers.